I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
