i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
