There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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