I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize