Are we in a gay sports bar?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
