Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
