I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
