I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
