so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Enjoy the penises
I touched a dick in church today
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
