i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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