he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
