i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
