if only i could text you this smell
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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