If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
