It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
