Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
