coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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