Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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