This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
