ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
