omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
