Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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