when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
