I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
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