you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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