I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize