She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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