I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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