Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
