Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
