glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
