She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
