3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
