just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
