whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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