Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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