I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
