you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
