I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
