there was a trapeze. enough said
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
