Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
