exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
