Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
