You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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