11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
