he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize