Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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