i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
