Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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