his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize