I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
