I'm going to jail i love you
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
