Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize