the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
