I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If I die, sorry about rent.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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