I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
50% drunk capacity currently
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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