This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
