I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i out mim tonsoeep
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