They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
youre lurking in front of me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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